You meet someone for the first time, and notice that glimmer in their eye. The glimmer that says they see something in you. Something to aspire to, to respect. They admire your look and speak to you as though you can get them places….
You, of course, know you look the part, you speak the part, you act the part.
But that’s just it, it’s like you have a part in a play and you acting it out.
For all you appear on the outside, you think if only these people knew, if only they knew I was terrible with money. That ok, I’ll give you I’m good at earning it but seriously I don’t seem to be able to keep it and I feel that I have not much worthwhile to show for it.
If they knew this about me that will see that my success is a façade and I really do not deserve the accolades that are given to me.
I have heard versions of this story many times from clients.
This is how closely how we behave with money is linked to our feelings of success.
Even though you have many pointers of success, such as qualifications, salary, professional standing, job title, business ownership, house, car. Even though people come to you for advice, seek your counsel, this underlying feeling that you haven’t even mastered your money leaves you feeling like…
So how to you resolve this feeling of being an “imposter”. Of feeling that your success is somewhat fraudulent because your finances behind the scenes don’t reflect this.
First thing is to recognise that it’s not just you that feels this way. Even super success celebrity types and professionals suffer the same….
“There are an awful lot of people out there who think I’m an expert. How do these people believe all this about me? I’m so much aware of all the things I don’t know.” Dr. Chan, Chief of the World Health Organization
“I still think people will find out that I’m really not very talented. I’m really not very good. It’s all been a big sham.” – Michelle Pfeifer“Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud.” – Kate Winslett
“At any time I expect the no talent police to come and arrest me” Mike Myers
“Any moment, someone’s going to find out I’m a total fraud.” (Emma Watson)
8 ways to resolve imposter syndrome in relation to money
1) Accept that you have had a role in your success. – you have got yourself to where you are today, with success in many areas of your life. You have made choices with your finances for many reasons over time, and are free to continue to make different choices if you want to do so.
2) Focus on the value you add to others – people value your advice, your helpfulness, your experience. Your bank balance does not need to underline this.
3) Keep a record of your successes every day however small. These are great to look back on. I use Pintrest and have a private board for each month which is a fab visual to look back on, and makes me feel great every time I look at it.
4) Stop comparing yourself to others. You have no idea what other people do with their money! We as a nation do not talk to each other about it, except to paint a rosy veneer. Focus on your own situation.
5) Be completely authentic and say if appropriate that you are working on your finances and your wealth mindset.
6) When you recognise what you are saying to yourself is part of imposter syndrome, then say it out loud to yourself. Acknowledgement and awareness is the first part of change. It makes it feel better because it makes it feel it can and will change.
7) Realise that no one actually knows what they are doing! Like many subjects your money mindset and your finances is something that your grow and develop with over your life, and still there will be more to know.
8) Realise that YOU is a changeable thing, and is changing every day. So you are never stuck.
Here is your first opportunity to overcome Imposter syndrome. Write in the comments one thing about your finances that makes you feel like a fraud. Putting it out there is one powerful step to moving on from it.
To start you off mine is that I have lost money on some of my investments. People think because I have been in financial advice for a long time I must know what I am doing, but I can pick wrong’un just as easily as the next person… There I said it!
Now it’s your turn…