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Managing your money getting you down? How to retrain your brain to think and do wealthy
Like many people I often get asked what I do.
“I help people think and behave differently with money, so they can live a wealthier and richer life” I say…
And how they commonly respond.
“Oooh I’m terrible with money!”
Given a private 10 minutes, this is how the conversation might go….and here are some of those elusive answers to no longer being “terrible with money”
What challenges does this bring up in life for you?
I wish I could afford more things, that I had more money, that it didn’t feel so disorganised.
I never get anything sorted properly. I push everything to the back of the queue.
I can’t work out how I am an intelligent person but I can’t seem to get this money thing right.
I’m fed up of thinking about money.
What benefit is there to you of staying this way?
Hmmm, well I don’t want to be constricted. I like being able to spend money how I please. I just don’t want the guilt. I want to be feeling like I’m doing things properly with my money.
But what if nothing changes and you stay like this for the next 5 years for example?
Eeek! That can’t happen; surely I will just get better with money over that time? What if I don’t though, what if I’m not making the most of what I have, what if my income doesn’t rise, what if, what if, what if…..
What if I could show you that you could learn another way. A way with money that would give you fun and freedom but also a sense of security and doing the right thing. Would that help?
YES?
Well let’s give it to you in a nutshell.
The starting point – Practicalities
Where are you with your money now? How does it flow? What income do you have? What accounts do you use? What’s your pattern of cash withdrawals? Can we find some hidden treasure in your money right now to make some immediate savings?
If we can find out what is happening now, we can see what works, and what we need to leave behind.
The key then is to create an automated system that is hands off and allows you to become mindful but not obsessive about what you spend. (You can find out more about this automated system here)
Then – The Mindset Shift
Everyone has a money blueprint or money story, and that includes you. What we learnt from our parents, our culture. What we heard and saw happen with money. Significant financial events that happen in our lives. These all add up to creating our money blueprint.
Now you might have a blueprint that really works for you, or maybe you have one that seems to sabotage your money situation at every turn. One that just when the going get’s good, off it all disappears again – Any of these sound familiar?
You need to look at your money blueprint, if you feel like you have tried time and time again with money, and it’s still not working for you in your life. This is the missing piece of the jigsaw.
One simple way of starting to see your blueprint is to take 10 minutes with a cuppa, and write down every money memory you can think of. Start from the beginning and work through your life, consider family, relationships, work. Just raising your awareness around your memories could allow you to see some patterns and make choices to change those patterns.
Bring these together
Practicalities and changing the way you think about money (money mindset) need to be done hand in hand. One without the other leaves you going with the logical approach (which like a diet will work for a while and then be dumped) or just with an awareness around your money mindset, but no tools to implement that management, or generate more income.
Once we bring these together – this is where the magic happens. The shift from money happening to you, to money being your best friend and really you having a great time managing money well, and creating more wealth and abundance in your life.
Want to find out more? Why not attend my next speaking event on the 7th March for The Womens Premier Business Club at Hampshire Golf Club, Andover. Details and booking here.
What do beanie weanies have to do with finance?
It is so rare that we hear other peoples money stories, so once a month I like to share an inspiring money story written by the person themselves so you can get a real insight into their money mindset, their challenge and the successes they have made.
With Summer break nearly here and thoughts turning to University this is invaluable reading for would be students and anyone with kids. Read on to learn some more….
This months Money Story blog is from the amazing Todd Brison.
“Student debt is suffocating my country. What started off as a good idea to level the educational playing field has turned into a nightmare for the average American.
We’ve borrowed 1.2 trillion dollars for school as a nation.
My friends across the pond are struggling with the same issue. The majority of University students in England will be paying back loans in their 40s and 50.
This has to stop.
First off, let me clear all the “skeletons” out of my closet so you know my history: I am a white male who lives in America. That alone lands me in a pretty good position in the world. I’m not confused by the fact life has been easier for me than it is for some.
But it’s not like my parents passed down massive wealth. They were both teachers. Early in my high school career, my mom left the public school world to tutor privately. She made less, so we cut deeper.
On several occasions during this time, our family ate beanie weanies – a bowl full of beans and chopped hot dogs – for dinner. Not for a snack. That was it. That’s all we had. So that’s what we ate.
What if we could all talk honestly about money?
What would it mean for the world?
What would it mean for you?
Think about it for a moment.
Imagine a world in which there were no veneers in front of any money situation. It would certainly make a difference in politics, and maybe even the financial crisis would have never have happened. But what about you, what would it really mean for you?
When I brought my first home in my early twenties, a lovely little flat. I was so excited to have a place that was just mine! I set about fixing up the place to my own design. I was an avid reader of Living Etc. And as such I had the latest colour trends, which in the year 2000 were BRIGHT red, bright neon pink, blue…. It was energising if anything! Now for me what came with home ownership is also a sense of “grown-up-ness” (Is that a word? Not sure ?… but you know what I mean) “Grown-up-ness” for me translated into buying all those lovely things I had seen in Living Etc. So in came the direct debit for the new sofa, the bed, carpets, and the credit card for the trinkets and the lights and the…….. (and for some reason a brand new car too). Fully furnished living my grown up lifestyle Was I talking honestly to myself about money? Was I heck! Delusion had set in! I needed to talk about money honestly…. TO MYSELF In Psycho-dynamics it is asserted that “ we use defence mechanisms to distort or deny reality so that we are not too hurt or threatened”. It’s a self protective mechanism to not be honest with ourselves. These defenses protect us from painful emotions or realisations. [Read more…]
De-clutter your spending & THROW OUT the budget plan
I’m just hearing you saying to your screen – “Hang on a sec, did you just say throw out the budget planner?” Surely Caroline as a money coach, you must live, breathe and eat budgets.
Would it surprise you to know I don’t?
Have a Budget plan….. (There I’ve said it)
The problem is when we try to budget we feel too constricted and the rebel in us surfaces. Sticking to a budget takes willpower. And that’s an issue.
There have been many studies done that show that willpo
wer is a finite resource. Take a typical day and just look at the number of times we have to use our willpower, simply getting up in the morning, resisting the urge to have a sneaky look at Facebook and concentrating on your work instead, being nice to the boss you don’t like, eating a healthy dinner rather than take away. The list is pretty endless and we have to work hard at it, and it wears us out. A bit like our muscles tire out when your forced to do too many push ups (come on I’m sure one or two of you do exercise!)
Why I have thrown out the budget plan